Lessons in Love

Lesson #1: People will be as open as you are. If you enter the dating field trying to be someone you are not, everyone you meet will continuously mirror and trick you. There are over 8 billion people on earth, being yourself will draw so many people who want you for who you truly are. It is really important in dating to meet people with an open-heart and an honest intention. Are you here to play around and move on? Do you think you are trying to settle down? Make that choice first and be honest about it so that these questions or preferences do not throw others off. Lesson #2: It is totally okay to choose yourself and growth over a relationship. I didn't know that before, but now I understand. See when we're kids in highschool we think that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is the coolest and most nesscesary part of middle school, high school, college.. but the focus should be on personal development and studying. Heartbreak does not a good student make. Thats all I'm willing to say.

Lesson #3: In my younger years, I believed that once you found a person if you couldn't make it work, you probably couldn't try again later. Maturity and experience taught me that sometimes the universe does bring people back together if it is meant to be. I definitely believe in 'right person, wrong time', Sometimes the universe is trying to teach you what you could have attained if you had your sh*t together in that time. In other cases, I believe the universe could be showing you that what you are looking for is out there and attainable, that it isn't just a dream.

Lesson #5: If you think you are unsure during dating, in some cases I would say take one more try. Sometimes when we're nervous it can be hard to understand what is a red flag and what is a green flag. If you feel like you can't stand another day with them or you feel a pit in your stomach that feels like it can drop to your knees at anymoment, thats a red flag and you are definitely done. If the day with the person makes you feel calm.. almost too calm, don't take that as 'it's boring time to run', what it really means is that this person makes your nervous system relax and that your body + mind feels at home.

Lesson #6: Here we are in 2024 and many years of dating later, the biggest and most important lesson I've learned is that no one else knows what is best for your relationship but you and your partner. There will be so many people, ads, and songs on the radio telling you what kind of person to date, how much money they should spend on you, whether ya'll should split bills, where they should take you out to eat... The only people who should be making those choices for you in your relationship are you and your partner. As long as both parties are happy and HEALTHY (emphasis on healthy) no one elses opionions should matter. To be honest, I've lost a few good men with wonderful relationships because I let other put ideas in my head about whom or what kind of man I should be with. When I look back on the beautiful relationships in my early and mid-twenties I saw just how faithful, focused, and loving the men in my life were. If youre ever reading this guys, Thank You for being you. They always say hindsight is 20/20.

Love, Brooklynn.